The Most Ridiculous Movie Ever....

"TRUE! — nervous — very, very dreadfully nervous I had been, and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses — not destroyed — not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Harken! and observe how healthily — how calmly I can tell you the whole story."

First paragraph of The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe

I have kept this to myself long enough. I can no longer stand it. I know that this is not something new, but I just have to let it out....


DIE HARD 4 IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS MOVIE EVER.

Plain and simply the most retarded piece of turd that Hollywood has decided to flush bukkake style onto my face.

Here's why:

1. Justin "Mother-F*****g" Long
Screams like a biatch, whiny piece of shit. If I get a dollar for every time I wished he gets killed in the movie, I'd be rich. Heck, if he is the face of Apple, I will buy Microsoft any day...BSOD and all. You can shove your iPhone up you-know-where.

2. Bruce Willis and his infinity bullets
Remember the scene where McClane goes to retrieve Justin Long's character (can't remember the name) at the opening of the movie? McClane actually reloads his handgun at least 3-4 times. WTF? A cop that is on his way home, presumably off duty, carries 3-4 clips of bullets?? And guess what...he has more in his glovebox! Man, Rambo and The Punisher must be turning green with envy.

3. The scene in the tunnel
The bad guys are on hot pursuit in a helicopter. Our heroes decides to evade them baddies by going into a tunnel. Ooh...but the baddies have control over the national grids! They turn off the lights in the tunnel and pandemonium! Cars crash into each other, cars doing ridiculous backflips, only to miss the good guys by mere inches....bla bla bla.
When the dust settles, except for a couple of guys seen staggering from the vehicle, (suprise, suprise!) the tunnel is empty!!! What? A big budget Hollywood production can't afford more extras? Oh, but here's there fun part...McClane gets mad and decides to take down the helicopter! He gets into a car, speeds off, and just as the car about to hit a barrier, jumps out of it. The car hits the barrier, propels upwards and hits the helicopter. The best bit about this is when McClane drives off, you can see all the cars involved in the crash were conviniently "parked" at the sides of the road, giving him a clear run towards the exit. Did I also mention he took down a helicopter?

4. Maggie Q defies death
In a scene in a power plant (or something), McClane crashes into Maggie Q at full speed. She doesn't die. She hangs on in front of the truck. McClane crashes the truck through a few glass and such...Maggie Q still looks as hot as ever. Maggie Q falls down the lift shaft (in the truck) and it explodes...suprisingly, she dies this time. I was half expecting her to come back again, you know like in those B grade horror flicks when you think the bad guy is dead and then BOO!

5. McClane takes down a fighter jet
...while driving a Mack truck. 'nuff said.

So there you go...five reasons why the movie sucks. There are probably more...like the exploding desktops...but I am tired and I got a movie to catch.

If you disagree with me, you are just being idiotic. Sigh.