Teenage Lobotomy

Lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy, lobotomy!
DDT did a job on me
Now I am a real sickie
Guess I'll have to break the news
That I got no mind to lose
All the girls are in love with me
I'm a teenage lobotomy

Slugs and snails are after me
DDT keeps me happy
Now I guess I'll have to tell 'em
That I got no cerebellum
Gonna get my Ph.D.
I'm a teenage lobotomy 

~lyrics to Teenage Lobotomy by The Ramones

Lobotomy, from the Greek work lobostomos literally translate to slicing the lobe of the brain. It is used in the 1930s to 1950s to treat disorders such as clinical depression, anxiety disorders and schizophrenia [source: Wikipedia]. 

If I were alive circa 1930s-1950s, I might've been a prime candidate for a lobotomy...I suffer from schizorphrenia, you see. I have split personalities. Sometimes I am Jimmy Foo, sometimes I am Gerrard Lim.

Jimmy Foo is very, very busy at work. I guess you guys can tell by the frequency of his blog posts. However, Gerrard Lim is quite free, he is a college student after all. Therefore, Gerrard will fill in for Jimmy whenever Jimmy's busy.
You can follow Gerrard in his very own blog, Gerrard Lim's Liverpool Diary.



Happy reading...

Spot The Difference

The Simpsons somehow reminds me of the English Premier League. The resemblence is quite uncanny. Don't believe me? Try and spot the diferrence. I bet you can't...











Mr Burns or Arsene Wenger?










Rafa Benitez or The Comic Book Guy?




Sir Fergie or Granpa Simpson?









Big Sam or Barney Grumble?











Chief Wiggum or Steve Bruce?









Moe The Barkeeper or Moyes the Manager?











Sigh...I miss the EPL.

The Most Ridiculous Movie Ever....

"TRUE! — nervous — very, very dreadfully nervous I had been, and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses — not destroyed — not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How, then, am I mad? Harken! and observe how healthily — how calmly I can tell you the whole story."

First paragraph of The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe

I have kept this to myself long enough. I can no longer stand it. I know that this is not something new, but I just have to let it out....


DIE HARD 4 IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS MOVIE EVER.

Plain and simply the most retarded piece of turd that Hollywood has decided to flush bukkake style onto my face.

Here's why:

1. Justin "Mother-F*****g" Long
Screams like a biatch, whiny piece of shit. If I get a dollar for every time I wished he gets killed in the movie, I'd be rich. Heck, if he is the face of Apple, I will buy Microsoft any day...BSOD and all. You can shove your iPhone up you-know-where.

2. Bruce Willis and his infinity bullets
Remember the scene where McClane goes to retrieve Justin Long's character (can't remember the name) at the opening of the movie? McClane actually reloads his handgun at least 3-4 times. WTF? A cop that is on his way home, presumably off duty, carries 3-4 clips of bullets?? And guess what...he has more in his glovebox! Man, Rambo and The Punisher must be turning green with envy.

3. The scene in the tunnel
The bad guys are on hot pursuit in a helicopter. Our heroes decides to evade them baddies by going into a tunnel. Ooh...but the baddies have control over the national grids! They turn off the lights in the tunnel and pandemonium! Cars crash into each other, cars doing ridiculous backflips, only to miss the good guys by mere inches....bla bla bla.
When the dust settles, except for a couple of guys seen staggering from the vehicle, (suprise, suprise!) the tunnel is empty!!! What? A big budget Hollywood production can't afford more extras? Oh, but here's there fun part...McClane gets mad and decides to take down the helicopter! He gets into a car, speeds off, and just as the car about to hit a barrier, jumps out of it. The car hits the barrier, propels upwards and hits the helicopter. The best bit about this is when McClane drives off, you can see all the cars involved in the crash were conviniently "parked" at the sides of the road, giving him a clear run towards the exit. Did I also mention he took down a helicopter?

4. Maggie Q defies death
In a scene in a power plant (or something), McClane crashes into Maggie Q at full speed. She doesn't die. She hangs on in front of the truck. McClane crashes the truck through a few glass and such...Maggie Q still looks as hot as ever. Maggie Q falls down the lift shaft (in the truck) and it explodes...suprisingly, she dies this time. I was half expecting her to come back again, you know like in those B grade horror flicks when you think the bad guy is dead and then BOO!

5. McClane takes down a fighter jet
...while driving a Mack truck. 'nuff said.

So there you go...five reasons why the movie sucks. There are probably more...like the exploding desktops...but I am tired and I got a movie to catch.

If you disagree with me, you are just being idiotic. Sigh.

I am back...

Whew...I can't believe that it's been more than three months since my last post. The thing is I recently got a new job...and has been quite busy from the get-go. Anyways, I guess that I have finally got into the groove of things and life can (hopefully) get back to normal now.

I have also recently discovered Squidoo. I have created a few lenses on David Gemmell's books; the Drenai Series. Do have a look and tell me what you think, especially all you fantasy buffs out there. I have also decided to start a new blog about reading for guys. I will give updates on that later. Watch this space.

Also, I hope to resume my challenge I put myself to quite sometime ago...The Fifty Word Challenge.

So, there you go. A brief re-introduction to the life of Jimmy Foo. Normal service will resume (hopefully) very soon...

Stay tuned. Don't touch that dial, I will be right back....

Conversations in the Office

After the virus incident, I naturally shared my experience with a few close colleagues. It was great fun, I tell you! For a few days, I felt like a small time celebrity in the office pantry.

During one of my story telling sessions, a colleague of mine, Siti shared her own experience. This allegedly happened a few years ago when she was working in a government organization.

An Ang Moh conslutant wanted to see the Senior Director of her department. He walked up to the Director's secretary (who was sitting accross Siti) and said, "Hi, I am here to see En. Hamid."

"Oh. I am sorry, sir. En. Hamid just past away five minutes ago." replied En. Hamid's secretary with a smile.

You can imagine the shock that registered on this consultant's face. Before he could say anything though, the secretary chirped in.

"Nevermind, sir. Maybe you sit down and wait. He will be back five minutes."

LOL! Stupid bitch probably meant that En Hamid had just stepped away for five minutes.

Pity the Ang Moh fella. Welcome to Malaysian English. Sigh.